My life revolves around my four children and my husband. Everything I do is for and about them. This year makes 9 years since I have been a Mom... my Caitlyn is turning 9 in November!!! Yet somewhere along the journey I have seemed to have lost myself. Who am I anymore without my children and husband around? I honestly have NO clue anymore. So, currently I am on a journey to try to find the me that is within.
I know what I enjoy... but there is really never a chance to break away to have time for myself. The odd thing about that is I don't like to be alone... ever! I don't have many people I enjoy being around here in this town, so going out with friends isn't an option either. So what do I do with that? For now I blog!
I blog to vent, to escape, to save my sanity! My connection to me, the me that can't always be SuperMom... the me that occasionally needs a break. Don't get me wrong, I adore my life, my children, my husband. I hate being without them, yet sometimes I just need a few moments to take a breath and watch the clouds roll by.
Back in the day I used to be so outgoing, so full of life, witty, strong, ready for anything, fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. Those characteristics are still within me... they just need to be let loose once again. I feel like I am different than most other people my age. Unlike many other 20-somethings, I got married when I was only 20 years old, and have had 4 children. My life isn't about parties, clubs and staying out drinking all night... it has turned into 3am feedings, diaper changes, kiddie movies, watching what I say, being exhausted by 10pm, and living on coffee.
A little lost right now... I am working my way towards finding myself once again. I feel that once we get a better grip on things and move away from the black hole that is Houston, things will start picking up once again. Mommy needs girlfriends to hang out with... not just over the phone, internet, and text either! Bear with me as my journey begins...
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2 comments:
J, I love your blogging your doing its great. Im glad that your getting the chance to write agin.
Hang in there it will get better.
Love ya
I completely get you! I often feel as though I'm in between. I don't fit in with older parents and I don't fit in with people my own age b/c most of them don't have children or are just starting their families while I've been a mom for 6 years and a wife for 8. I truly think that society makes us feel lost. Society seems to dictate what we should and should not do and at what age. I don't fit into society's "mold" and honestly, I don't care to. God created me as an individual and I refuse to conform to what someone thinks I should be.
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