New Year, New Fun!

I was having some troubles with blogger for awhile... and have now finally returned!!

Today is December 31, 2008... the end of 2008! YIKES!! Where has this year gone?! Just a few "days" ago I was in the hospital having my 4th baby, my beautiful Peyton Rylie. She is 6 months now... this year has passed by too fast!

In a baby group of mine we were all talking about resolutions and how the word resolution is the wrong word to use because it is usually something we resolve to do then never fully complete. So rather, we were talking about setting up some goals for ourselves. So lets hear it... what are some of your goals for yourself this 2009?

Here is my list:
-To take time for myself each and every day just to relax and wind down
-Take time to write each and every day even if its just a few sentences
-Exercise at least 4 days a week (I am already there yeah!!)
-Be more adventurus in trying new things
-Relax with the OCD - no matter how much I try everything is never going to be "perfect"

How about you??

Dear Morning

Please come at a later time. You come too early, and I just can't function as well as I used to on a full night of sleep. You see, I have nights where the kids just don't want to sleep or have bad dreams, yet I open my eyes and it's morning. The clock seems to be glaring at me with the time telling me how lazy I am. It's only 6:45 its too early to get up. The baby is awake wanting attetion. Oh please how I wish I could sleep at least until 7, 7:30 even. Wow, I need sleep. Morning, please take a day off. Here I go for another round of coffee...

Back by popular demand...

TAMALES!!!!! As most of you know David is a secret chef (ahhhhmaaazazing!!!!) and has been begged to make tamales again this year. They are HUGE - because as well all know David does nothing small hehe - and on SALE!!!! Half dozen for $8 or full dozen for $16, your choice of chicken or beef... but if I were you I would get both!!!!! YUMMMY!!!!!!!

Order away...

Women...

Whine whine whine... bitch bitch bitch... why is it women are always so full of drama?? If its not one thing its another, its always SOMETHING to bitch and moan and throw a fit over. For the most part I believe I don't fall in this category, and if I do PLEASE forgive me!!! Yes, bitching is allowed every once in awhile... but every freaking day something new?!?! Seriously... get over it.

When every other day you come on and go on and on about how this happened to you or that happened, this made you mad and that made you furious. Is there ANYTHING that makes you happy? Anything that doesnt require us to constantly tell you everythings gonna be ok? Do you need the attention THAT bad???

Sometimes all the drama makes me second guess why I even belong to certain groups on CafeMom. But of course to even it out, I have a few special ladies that keep it sane! I cant "rant" about it because then I am "attacking" others. Ugh. Who needs soap operas when you have even crazier drama right on your computer screen?? Not me thats for sure!!

You may think to yourself that I am a total contradiction right here... well yes, in a way I am. But guess what? This is my blog and I can bitch if I want to. Haha. End of rant... carry on...

I have yet to...

BLOG and its the 10th of November!!! What a horrible blogger I am! Well you probably won't think so if you knew just half of what I deal with on a daily basis! Yesterday I spent the majority of the day on the couch resting as my back was killing me like never before. It goes out pretty bad from time to time, and Im glad it chose to do it yesterday on a day when David was home to give me a hand with the munchkins!!

A little trivia for today, anyone know what day it is today?? Comment and I will answer tomorrow... and NO it is NOT Veteran's Day, that would be tomorrow.

While I haven't been blogging, I have been writing for Associated Content. Go check out my work peeps, page views count!
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1158778/my_love_hate_relationship_with_old.html

While youre there be sure to check out my other articles! Well this blog must end for now as I have wild children to attend to!!!

Its Halloween!!!

This EXACT day last year I found out I was already almost two months pregnant with my little Peyton Rylie!!! Oh what a day that was! I had been feeling off, just knew something was different. Every pregnancy so far has been different. So finally I call David at work and ask him to bring home a test. He sounds a little nervous, but promises to fill my request.

That night he walks in the door as the kids are getting their costumes on. In he walks with a bag he promptly hands to me with the test, a 6-pack of beer in his other bag and a small boquet of flowers. I couldn't help but smile. Well, obviously we know how the result turned out!!

So exactly one year later, I sit here actually able to type for a minute while Baylee is upstairs asleep, Peyton is napping in her pack and play in the livingroom and Wyatt is watching Cars the movie, and of course Caitlyn is at school. Tonight, it is trick or treating once again. Wyatt has had a countdown all week, just dying for this day to get here.

I got a GREAT deal on costumes for Baylee and Peyton. Old Navy had their costumes marked down from $22.50 to only $5 per costume! Then to top that off, I got a $5 off coupon! For two costumes I paid a grand total of $5, which would normally have cost me $45!! Nena would be proud!!

Does Texas have any clue that it's OCTOBER already?? I mean geesh... its HOT. This week things started cooling down, I was able to wear jeans, I was finally able to wear SOCKS. The windows opened, the ac shut off.... and then the heat crept right back up on us! I really hope my poor babies dont sweat to death in their costumes tonight!!

Anyway... Have a safe and FUN Halloween tonight everyone!!! Memories for me for now... then to take the kids trick or treating!

I feel like I abandoned my blog!

WOW What a week or rather week and a half this has been!! One thing piling on top of the next... seeming like it was never going to calm down! I've been in and out of grouchy moods, and wanting to just get away from it all. Nothing seems to help.

I have to take it one day at a time, one step at a time, breathing along to way, counting all my blessings, to make sure I don't get overwhelmed. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Today is an iffy day. Dishes need to be washed, the laundry needs to get folded, and the downstairs bathroom needs to be cleaned. If I don't do these things no one else will.

Sometimes I wish for a break... but being a Mommy you never get a break. Tonight I get what I am going to call a half break. A friend is coming over to watch Grey's Anatomy with me, and David is taking the older two kids over to her house to chill with her husband. So I will still have two kids here, but Baylee goes to bed as Grey's starts then it will just us and Peyton. So thats my sort of break.

OMG. Wow... today is looking like its gonna be another one of THOSE days!!! I am taking what TWO minutes to write this and I all the sudden hear a hurt/scared scream coming from the living room from Baylee. Her screaming scared Peyton who then started screaming. I run in to find the stool I had asked Wyatt to put away with Baylee stuck halfway in it. Looked as if she was trying to crawl through it and got her arm and head stuck, then it fell over. She was terrified. I pulled her loose to a nice sideways bruise on her forehead where the leg of the stool was pressing against her. UGH. Yay... I am off once again to rescue Peyton who seems to think the world is ending if I don't pick her up.

Its been a long week...

This week has been one LONG and TIRING week. I am beyond exhausted, drained, and crabby. I don't like being crabby... it doesn't fit my personality very well. Please, someone, somewhere tell me something to cheer me up! Janae is NOT fun when she's crabby... hence me abandoning my blog for an ENTIRE week OMG!

Ahhh.... hoping for a few good hours of sleep tonight... that will hopefully help. Breakfast in the morning, a new day.

Sunday, technically the begining of a new week... time to start anew... and leave this crab apple behind!!!

At-ti-tuuuuude

Why must 8 year olds have such attitude all the time? Ugh. I had a great idea. Hey, today is a nice day out (for ONCE in texas it wasnt too hot!)... let's go to the big park and take pictures of the kids! Peckham park has a big pond with a long trail, lots of trees, ducks, fish, and of course a play area. I figured the kids would have a blast... and I was right... for the most part.

Attitude from the 8 year old was giving me a headache. The sun's in my eyes... its too hot sitting here... I don't want to... whine whine whine. Grrr. I was gonna lose it. The younger ones were all too excited to give me what I wanted, pose, smile, say cheeeeese, but not Caitlyn. I think I got maybe 2 pictures without her frowning or making a face... TWO measly pictures.

This is just the start... oh the joys... I am doing everything I can to talk to her, to show her this isn't acceptable. How do you get rid of attitude??

I will try again, and I will wear her down until she gives me an acceptable picture hehehe!!!

Funk

Lately I have felt in a funk... not fun. I haven't been able to seem to shake it. Emotional ups and downs and all arounds. I've been feeling a bit crazy and off my game for a little while. I wonder if it is my body settling back into place after having Peyton, or getting used to new hormones. It could be both. It could of course, also be stress. Either way I hate it.

Today it was like the clouds broke and the sun sparkled through bringing those wonderful rays of light shining down on me... though yes it has been rainy... haha.

I don't know what helped. The fact that I prayed could be one. The fact that I realized not much is in my control. The fact that I woke up this morning determined not to be snappy or crabby. Any of those, all of those. I woke up, went on with my normal morning routine. Once downstairs I put Peyton down to play in her saucer and checked my various websites I go to. Upon reaching my baby group on CafeMom I noticed 5 members in chat... FIVE!!! This has been a rare occurance lately!

So of course I join right in. All the sudden, I wasn't dragged down by everything that has been bothering me... I was able to be the goofy, dorky, silly old Janae I was before! It felt amazing. I was free of the funk. I chatted, drank my morning coffee and had a blast.

Since then I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, played and danced silly with Baylee and Wyatt, fed Peyton and put her down for a nap, fed Baylee and Wyatt and let them go play in the toy area. While of course more cleaning can be done... I feel productive. I feel happy! I feel like I am accomplishing things that I have been putting off.

While I may not get to have daily conversations with friends, it was great this morning to just be out there and talking freely about anything and everything. Gotta say I love my JuneBug Mommies!!!!! Of course I love all my other friends as well... dont hear me saying that I dont!

Well it seems I am on a good path... a path to finding the old Janae once again. You know another thing that helped... reading Mike's blog... I found a quote that seemed was perfect. I NEEDED to see that quote... I NEEDED someone to say that to me... and it was right there staring me in the face.

"Wanting to be someone you're not is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

Think about it... I will leave you with that!!!

Aghhhh!!!!!!!!!

Help! I. Need. Help! Agghhhh!!!! I am at the end of my rope right now... barely hanging on... I need to get a grip before I start freaking out here. I don't know what to do!!!

Baylee has always been the difficult one... since before I even knew I was pregnant!! I thought it was a horrible bout of stomach flu... ahh nope! That was Miss Baylee Rose making her presence known. Looking at food, smelling food, moving from my ever so still spot on the couch, feeding the other two kids, breathing, you get the picture. EVERYTHING made me sick with her for a month after I knew I was pregnant. Everything. She was a difficult pregnancy all around. Had problems I had never encountered before, bleeding, emergency hospital trips, car accident, you name it, it happened while I was pregnant with Baylee Rose. Won't even go there about delivery!!

So I should expect her to continue her difficulty, right? Hoped not! She was a difficult baby... colic, reflux, horrible teether. And now... she is a difficult toddler. OMG! Her latest thing is poop. Oh how she loves to reach in her diaper and play in poop. Disgusting. Makes me want to puke. I have tried talking to her, tried showing her where her poop goes (also an attempt at potty training as she just turned 2), tried punishing her when she does it. NOTHING works.

I want to rip my hair out. TWICE today... it has happened twice today so far! I put her to bed for a nap and realized 30 minutes later I could hear her playing. Go upstairs, there is poop in her carpet, her bed, her hands, under her fingernails. Ugh. I hate the smell of poop. Not like its runny poop either.

Never have I encountered such a stubborn, strong-willed, and difficult child. She is great, funny, loving and silly. She's gonna be a spit-fire thats for sure. For now... I need help. I admit defeat to the poop. HELP. How do I get her to stop???

DWTS

Based on who the "stars" are that season, I am hopelessly addiced to ABC's Dancing with the Stars! I love dancing... always have, always will, and wish I could get back into it soon. So for now, I watch everything that has to do with dancing!

This year had a mix of contestants that were ok... one standing out above the rest for me. Let me explain why... don't laugh, ok, well at least don't tell me you laughed!!!! Lance Bass. NSync. Yup. You get the picture. I was beyond obsessed, went to every concert I could in high school, saw them perform at Knotts before anyone knew who they were, got to stand next to the stage with Dani as JC held out the mic for us to chant with them. Ahh... memories. I wasn't ashamed to admit it then, and even now I stand my ground. I loved NSync. And just to drive my point home further, as I type this blog my phone rings with the sounds of Justin Timberlake.

So back to DWTS... Lance is partnered with newcomer Lacey (cant spell her last name for the life of me haha). She seems pretty cool, edgy (which can sometimes irritate judges), but has spunk! Seems the perfect match for Lance. A few of their dances have been great to watch. I have to say he surprised me by one... two weeks ago they danced to "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry... and at the end Lance and Lacey kissed. No big deal you think? Lance is openly a gay man. To me, it was hilarious and looked as if Lacey were on cloud 9!

Anyway... I love watching this show but was so sad to learn last week they were in the bottom two!!! Bottom two when contestants such as Cloris Leachman and Rocco DiSpirito are still dancing... NO!

If you're a fan... or even if you're not.... VOTE FOR LANCE AND LACEY!!!!! Go to abc.com to vote, or 1-800-868-3407!!!!

WATCH THE SHOW!!!!

Well I'll be...

It happened... it finally happened!! What happened? I got Peyton and Baylee to take naps at the SAME time!!! Ahhh... its like the clouds have vanished, the sky is blue and the angels are singing. Ok... a little overdramatic there, but you get the picture!!!

I've been attempting this for four months now (well duh Peyton is only 4 months old!)... and it has finally happened. My Peyton has been a cat napper since the moment she was born. Twenty minutes here, thirty there, and that was all she would do. Sure, she sleeps pretty well at night, so of course I will take great night of sleeping over proper naps anyday! Baylee was always a right on schedule kind of girl. Nap this time, eat this time, bed this time. It worked great. Wyatt was a go with the flow... and I worked while Caitlyn was a baby so it was a bit different then.

So now that I finally have this free time to myself... free time to get chores done without one of the two younger ones constantly needing something, diaper changes, being picked up, being played with... now that I have this time... what do I do? I blog. Ahh, shame on me!!! I could be doing a million things I need to get done, that I complain I never do... but instead I choose to sit here and blog, roam the internet with free hands, let my mind wander. I feel so useless right now haha... so non-productive!! I was complaining about not getting any me time the other day.. so now I am taking it!

I am gonna sit back, listen to some good old school music (anyone ever get sick of the same new stuff played over and OVER again??), and let my mind just wander. Hey, if they sleep long enough I might just even get another article written as well... oohhh now that would be being productive!! I do have another story idea brewing away in my head...

Car Seat Dilemma

I NEED to buy Peyton a convertible car seat like yesterday. She is just 2lbs shy of the weight limit on her infant carrier, and an inch or two short of the height limit. Yes, I have a gigantor baby on my hands, I am well aware of this as I can barely keep her in clothes!!! Anyway... back to the car seat issue.

Desires in a car seat... Has to be easy to use, comfortable for Peyton (meaning that $45 one at Walmart is a nogo, NO padding), and most importantly it has to be SAFE. So of course I go and check out the National Highway Safety website to see what they say about the latest car seats... of course Britax wins! Ugh. Who really can afford a Britax car seat?? Not me thats for sure.

Car seats are EXPENSIVE. And yes, for good reason. There is no price you can put on the safety of your children. But in a sense, there is. I cant afford the top rated car seat. Makes me feel like I am cheating my children out of their own safety. Overreacting? Maybe.

Why don't car seat companies come with lay-away programs? Haha. That would be FANTASTIC wouldn't it?? That way when a person finds out they are pregnant they can slowly pay off the balance and have the seat paid for and ready when the little one is ready to sit in it. Ahh... just dreaming obviously.

I was looking into the ComfortSport by Graco. A pink one at Target is about $80. It only lasts to 40lbs as well, so in a year or so your child could very well be out of it. I want something to last for my money. It also got horrible reviews on the Target website. My 2 year old Baylee has had the Alpha Omega car seat since she was 5 months old. It was a gift from my parents to Baylee and ran about $170 at the time. Personally, it doesn't snug around her the way I feel a car seat should protect. Yes, it goes to 100lbs when used as a belt positioning booster, but still not a car seat I love.

So where do I go from here? What I want for my baby and what I can afford for my baby are two very different things. What to do?? I have NO clue!

Tis the season... for depression??

Lately I find myself feeling like I want to go into seclusion yet at the same time battling it trying to make everyone happy at once. I want to do so many things at once, and nothing seems to get accomplished. I want to be the fun, happy go lucky girl I once was, not dragged down with all this stress and irritation. It seems like if I just had the money to get through this, everything would be fantastic.

Thats the root of the problem, money, its never enough, and we don't ever have it. But I know, I KNOW money is NOTHING when it comes to happiness... yet I find myself unhappy when I am stressed out due to money. Ugh, its evil.

Family, friends, people, things that cannot be replaced, those are the things that are most important in this world. But I am only human, and want things, and want to give things to my children and to others. It brings me down when I can't. This time of year is so busy for us and there is never enough to get everything accomplished. October brings Baylee's birthday as well as Halloween. November brings Caitlyn's birthday as well as Thanksgiving, sometimes even falling on the same day. December as we all know too well brings Christmas and then New Years Eve. I can't seem to balance it all and its dragging me down.

I feel like I did when I was exercising this morning. My legs were burning as I tried to keep on pushing and pushing to make it to that 30 minute mark. 15 more minutes seemed like an eternity, then 10, but the hardest part was those final 3 minutes. I knew I couldn't give up with the finish right there in my sight but every bit of me seemed to be on fire. Sweat dripping, I made it to my goal. It seems like that struggle for me everyday... in almost every way. When will it get easier? When will I see the finish line near?

I do the best that I can in teaching my kids not to desire material things, to value the little things in life. Sometimes its just not enough. Sometimes I want things, they want things. I hate wanting things. I hate feeling depressed. I just needed to vent a minute before I went insane. Today is not one of my happier ramblings, hopefully I perk up again tomorrow.

My photo editing obsession!!!

Recently I attempted to take pictures of all of the kids "professional style" and they came out pretty well. Have yet to get them all to cooperate for a group shot, but thats another story. Well as proud of the pictures as I was, they could of course use some touching up... and thats when I fell in love with photo editing!!!

Who knew it was SO easy to do this all on your own?? I mean, with this kind of software out there for FREE, why waste your time and money going to a studio?? With just a few props, backgrounds and poses you have your own home studio for FREE!!! In case you haven't noticed, FREE is one of my favorite words!

You then have the choice to print them with a local store or go through a website that offers free prints when you first sign up. I have had prints from both Shutterfly as well as SnapFish and they turned out great and were pretty cheap to order from!!

So it looks like I have found myself a new hobby... hurray!!! Yet another thing to keep me occupied and detesting those dishes in the sink... haha. Yes, eventually they will get done... but for now I write, and photoshop!!!

Here is just one of my many photo editing adventures today for you to enjoy...

Do you get any ME time??

We are all busy... everyone is always busy... so my question is this... when do you get ME time?? Lately my moods have been grinding as I feel I dont get time for myself, time to do anything that isn't tied to my children. Duh, of course, as a parent they are my first priority. Yet, not getting time for myself isn't helping me find the "me" that I lost. (Refer to blog titled Lost).

Today I had a meltdown moment at David. Yes, partly his fault, and it got resolved. Now that its over, I am ashamed, but can't waste on regrets now can we? Only to learn and move forward. After long periods of time, without a break, I feel like I am ready to explode. I can't remember the last time I was anywhere without all of my children with me, let alone just having one or two of them! It's all four, all the time. That's what a Mommy does, right? Yes. But Mommy is also a person who needs her own time.

I need to get a few moments to myself here and there, without folding laundry, washing dishes, cleaning up a child, or changing a diaper. If I am ever going to get my head on straight, I need a few minutes here and there to calmly collect my thoughts. Any ideas? No travel, please, its hard to go anywhere and too hot to walk here still.

I want to start writing again, but being interrupted every 5 seconds ruins my thought process and my brain becomes mush! I was a great writer once upon a time, and hope to regain that once again... soon! This great story is playing out in my mind randomly throughout the day... yet when I sit to write I cant, other things need to be done first. How do mothers of babies, toddlers, and little ones get it done?? How on earth did JK Rowling find time to write all those long Harry Potter books?? Right now, the idea baffles me!

The kids need me, the husband needs me, the clothes need to be washed, kitchen cleaned, children bathed, diapers changed, bedtime routines, and by the end of the day I am just too worn out for anything else! H E L P!!!

Latest Obsession...

My obsession as of late is the Twilight book series by Stephenie Meyer. I LOVE these books, so if you haven't read them... you're missing out!!! I got the first book (Twilight) for Christmas in 2005, read it in a few days, thought it was great, then life took over and I forgot all about it. Fast foward to 2008 and I hear from a friend (thanks Heather!!!) that the story of Bella and Edward didn't stop there... another 3 books were published to their love story! I grew as giddy as a school girl and asked David to bring the second book (New Moon) home with him that night. He did... good for him!

Finished that in about two days and craved more... I HAD to have the final two books. It wasn't just a story... it was my alternate reality! Once in hand, they were finished within a few days, only stopping to take care of the kids, or things that needed to be done. My obsession took control. The house suffered. Not once did David complain (what a guy! hehe). As I turned the final page of book four (Breaking Dawn) I felt at a loss. The story wasn't ready to be finished... no... it was just begining!

Currently though, their story is complete... and I sit and crave more. I read the books over and over again, this time slower, allowing every tiny detail to sink in, wanting to stay as long in this faux reality as possible. To appease this I have joined chat groups on CafeMom for Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series, found updates on the movie that is to be released November 21st, and visit these websites regularly.

The days count down until the release of the Twilight movie... and until then... I wander aimlessly...

After a long wait... I return!!!

Things are finally starting to get back to normal around here, after Hurricane Ike destroyed parts of Galveston, Houston, and surrounding areas. Its been two weeks and that night is forever burned into my memory. Without a doubt the night of the hurricane was the scariest night of my entire existance!

We all camped in the livingroom, with the kids falling asleep to a movie around 10pm. The winds were pretty strong by then, but nothing horrible. I layed down trying to get some sleep hoping Peyton wouldn't wake up too early that night. I got maybe an hours worth of sleep before the wind started howling through the cracks of the windows and doors, even with the windows having heavy blankets nailed to them. The blankets and darkness they brought just added to the creepy-feels-like-we're-in-a-bad-horror-movie factor. I remember laying there on the floor in my living room, surrounded by my sleeping children and husband, hands folded, tears in my eyes, praying we would be safe from the fury Ike brought upon the gulf. It sounded evil, no other way to describe it.

When it was all over our neighborhood lay in pieces. Some had huge trees on their homes, and cars, missing fences, downed siding, ripped off roofs. Our home had a small leak in the roof above our room and nothing else! We were so blessed... it could have been much worse!!

Just this week people are now getting their power turned back on. We were lucky that ours was only out a day. Caitlyn got a week off school, David two weeks off work. His job is on the south east side of Houston and just regained their power Saturday.

Little Miss Peyton beckons, so my post must end. Just a quick blog to let everyone know we are ok, we made it, things are good, and expect more blogs to come!!

MTV VMAs Last Night...

I was so excited to watch the VMAs last night! My friend Sarah was here, all the kids were playing and occupied... a rare occurance! Britney opened the show, I love that she is getting her life back together, she looked great! Then that thing that calls himself Russell Brand came on stage and ruined everything.

A Brit was hosting the VMAs... in America... BASHING our country, our President... and spewing all his junk as to why you have to vote for Obama. Now whether or not I am voting for or against Obama... he was completely out of line! Since when did hosting an awards show allow you to try to pursuade people towards your political agenda?!?!? That along with picking horribly on the younger stars that honestly did nothing wrong, like the Jonas Brothers for wearing purity rings, he needed to be taken off the air. Barely anyone was laughing at his so called jokes and instead of making me laugh he made me quite angry.

What has the world come to that we don't have enough entertainers here in America we grab one from Europe who is a complete moron. I am sorry but if you are not from this country, please don't bash us for the things we do or don't do.

Anyway I lost my trail of thoughts on this as I had to take care of Peyton once she woke up from her catnap, give the older two a snack and kiss Baylee when she decided to jump off the couch and hit her chin on the ground. Ahh the things that happen when you walk away for a few short minutes! Needless to say... gotta love PBS and Word World because they are actually sitting for a few minutes!! But of course I can't just pick up where I left off... hence why it has been so hard for me to do much writing lately. I love my life though and wouldn't trade all this chaos for anything!!

OCD!!!

Please forgive me for I have OCD... does it bother you?? Yes, I load the dishwasher a certain way... the RIGHT way! Yes, I fold my laundry in specific order... my order! Yes, I organize... it keeps life simple! Life is complicated enough, isn't it?? You may think you're "helping" me by doing the dishes but trust me all you're really doing is driving me insane! Please, don't try folding the clothes either... they wrinkle that way... and you have got to know its the end of the world when you are wearing wrinkled clothes!!!

Does my OCD bother you? Am I hurting you in any way shape or form? No? Then get over it! I have a system and the system works for me. Don't screw with it! David and his buddy Joey thought it was hilarious one night (back when Wyatt was an baby - 2004) to rearrange the DVDs after I had gone to bed. They took handfuls and moved them all sorts of places, totally throwing my system out of whack. Not only did they do this... they BET on how long it would take me to figure it out!!! So the next morning rolls around, I am up at 7 feeding Wyatt his breakfast, walk into the living room to turn on the tv... my eyes fall directly on the row of DVDs in the tv cabinet. Something was wrong.... Aladdin was next to Dirty Dancing which was next to Top Gun. WTF!!!! Dammit David!!!! I yelled. Joey jumped awake on the couch laughing when he realized why I was upset. I made the boys watch Wyatt as I immediately re-organized my DVD collection back the way it should be... in alphabetical order.

Why do I do this? I don't have a clue. It's my way... and that means its the RIGHT way! Sure, it might be fun for you to mess with me... but let me have my "ways" and you can tease me all you want. I know I am insane with my OCD tendencies, but they keep me happy and lets face it... its ALL about making Mommy HAPPY!!!

So... my next writing venture begins... because Mommy has OCD!!!! Enjoy...

School is back in session!

Ready... change!!

My oldest daughter Caitlyn started 3rd grade this past Monday! She was so excited I don't think she slept at all the night before. I love watching her as she is jumping around wanting everything to be perfect for her first day as a 3rd grader. Of course you know as well as I do (according to Caitlyn) that 3rd graders are just SO much more mature than little 2nd graders. Haha.

Ahh the memories to be that age again with no cares in the world other than who you were sitting with at lunch and what games you would play at recess. I love that she loves school and looks forward to it each day.

My little helper is gone! She was so great playing and helping with the younger kids, that I miss Caitlyn even more when she's at school during the day! They miss her too, and show it! Each and every day when she gets off the school bus and walks through the front door they scream "Caitlyn's home! Caitlyn's home!!" and attack her with hugs and kisses. It melts my heart each and every time... and hope the day never comes when they don't want to do that anymore.

I haven't posted much lately because I haven't had much to say. Sure drama here and there but nothing I care enough to post about. Just the kind that you let in one ear and out the other. We are trying to get on a new routine here without Caitlyn, and get Peyton on a settled routine. It is slowly but surely coming along. Once a routine in set in place I can get back to exercising again and I cant wait for that!

So my thoughts are still random and jumbled at the moment, but stick around and you will find more great blogs coming your way!

Where have all my thoughts gone??

I have SO much on my mind lately, the words are swirling around in my head like you see on the cartoons. My ideas are there... but getting them out is becoming increasingly difficult these past few days. Nothing sounds right. Nothing flows the way I want it to. Writers block? Nah... I've got more than enough to say to fill a few pages!! What's my problem?

Sure... I write, put it down, take care of the kids, get them situated, then return and write some more. I am used to this part... just pick up where I left off... but the words aren't coming out. Not the way I want them to at least. So I sit... and write... and then save it to draft.

Irritating!! I want these things out, in the open. I blog to get them off my chest... yet they stick to me like glue because the words just won't form into sentences. These feelings, this anger and frustration, it keeps building and building. If I don't find a way to get it out I am going to blow... and everyone knows how horrible that would be!

I am frustrated at many things... at people, at things. For some reason, I can't just let things slide right now. There is a couple here that drives me insane with their inability to care for or discipline their children. It bothers me beyond belief that they are always taking things from us without asking, using our diapers, formula, bottles, when we are in no better position than they are. They are moving Friday... so why can't I just drop it? I will never see them again, yet they irritate me so much I want to scream.

Letting other peoples actions get to me... that's another frustration currently. Why should I care what others do? Why should I care that they are screwing up their children? Because, I just do!! Because the children deserve better... and they are growing up as little hellions... all because a lack of discipline, or rather desire to teach and correct their ways. Lazy parenting is creating mean, anger filled children... and there is nothing I can do to stop it. It frustrates me that I can't do anything about this!

Being a last resort for some people... that bothers me as well. My sister (when we were speaking) would call me everyday, but only when her best friend wasn't available to talk to first. When no one else had time for her, she came to me. I hated knowing that... knowing I was her last resort. I have friends like that which I have downgraded to acquaintances for just that reason. I shouldn't have to be some one's last resort for friendship, for conversation, for companionship. I won't be.

Okay... so as jumbled, as random as that all was... that's what is currently on my mind. A little crazy, yes, a little out there and mixed together. But those are my true and honest feelings at the moment. Things probably don't make much sense... but it feels better to let it all out. Nothing flowing properly, just jumping from one thought to the next, the chaos in my mind is finally set free.

Wake Up Call...

Friday was a bit of an irritating day for me. I just wasn't on my game... pretty much woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I let everything bother me and I hated letting things get to me like that. The kids were being loud and Caitlyn just wouldn't stop with her constant questioning of everything.

We went to visit David, bring him lunch at work, and let him show off our new addition to his co-workers. It was a break in our normal routine, so of course the kids were going to be a bit off schedule. David works on the far side of Houston so it was a bit of a drive, and then started pouring down rain which made things worse. Accidents were here and there, huge puddles all over, and construction on various parts of the freeway. The drive there wasn't as bad as the drive home... it took me an hour and fifteen minutes to get home! I was beyond irritated by then, but trying my best to get in a relaxed mood for the kids.

They wouldn't settle down which in return didn't give me much of a chance to settle down myself. We had to make a run to the grocery store when David got home, and by that time my nerves were frazzled to say the least. Diaper bag packed, we were on our way. Though the store is only two miles away, Caitlyn just wouldn't quit with the questions... again.

As I asked her kindly... again... to stop, I felt myself growing more frustrated. This was not going to be a good grocery store trip like this. Not a second later David leans over and whispers into my ear. "I know you have had a rough day... but you need to remember something. You are teaching her how to be a parent. Everything you say to her right now, that is how she learns how to parent her own children someday."

His words struck me. Oh my goodness... I felt low! I felt horrible. What am I teaching her? That Mommy is having a bad day and that allows Mommy to yell and be angry over tiny little things like repeat questions? No. I want better for her. I want her to know patience. My patience is rather thin at times, and I want more for my kids.

Everything I do... everything I say... is showing my children how to act with their own families. He said, we are not teaching them to be kids, we are teaching them how to be adults. They already have the kid thing down. Wow. How did my husband get so smart? He always was of course, but in times like these all I can say is WOW!

I am going to do better. I am going to have more patience... read that story one more time though we have already finished it three times in a row... put down the dishes to sit and color with them... and let them play just a bit longer in the bath tub. Putting off the dishes, laundry, or vacuuming might bother you at that moment... but in years to come you will thank yourself. They only stay little for a few years. They only want your attention for a few years. Soon, you will be the ones chasing after them for attention.

Cherish each and every moment you have with your children. Play with them, read, act goofy, and most importantly, love them unconditionally.

So Sad...

Around 4pm local Houston time, a close friend of mine witnessed a horrible tradegy today. This friend of mine works security at a hospital in Cypress, Texas. Patrolling the parking lot on a routine patrol, he came across that of a lifeless young boy trapped in a vehicle. Immediately he rescued the boy from the scorching hot car and performed CPR. His attempt to save a life did not work, the boy had already been dead too long. An innocent 3 year old boy's life was taken today because of the ignorance of his mother.

I do NOT understand how on earth you can leave your child in a vehicle all day long!!! It just doesn't register with me!! The rare times I am without my children I still, out of habit check for them! It just seems like common sense to me. How do you just forget your 3 year old in the backseat on your way to work? You're supposed to drop him off at daycare... which I am assuming is a habit. How do you forget that?? This child has been your responsibility for THREE YEARS... and you can forget him in your vehicle for a 9 hour shift at the hospital... I don't get it!!

Three year olds are not quiet whatsoever... my boy just turned 4 last month and talks non stop. There is no way on earth anyone could even pretend he is not in the room, he just commands attention. How do you not notice him in the rear view mirror? I'm sure he was in a carseat... strapped in... no way to get out. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it!!!

My friend won't forget today for as long as he lives, I am sure of it. The mother hopefully won't either.

PEOPLE... CHECK TO MAKE SURE NO ONE IS IN THE CAR WHEN YOU GET OUT... NOT CHILDREN... NOT ANIMALS... NOT A SINGLE LIVING THING!!!!!!!

Seriously... WHY??

Why do people who have NO intention of taking care of their children themselves, continue to have children?? I had children to... get this... take care of them... just me and my husband!! Why would you do otherwise? No, I am not opposed to ever dropping your children off with family or friends on occasion, for a date, or an important event. But... to drop your kids off just because you don't feel like dealing with them that day?? That is ridiculous!

That is not the way parenting works. I was raised by my parents... not my grandparents, aunts, uncles, or anyone else. My mom and dad CHOSE to have me, making it their responsibility to raise me. The same goes for me and my family. Together, David and I chose to have children and start a family.

There are definitely days where I would love to stay in bed, be lazy, have nothing to do. Well guess what... too bad. I made the life changing choice to have my four children, and there's no going back. Sorry... all sales are final and refunds will not be accepted!! I gave up all rights to be lazy, to be selfish, to have my needs come first the minute that plus sign appeared on the pregnancy test.

Children are not dogs... you can not just take care of them when its convenient for you then put them outside or in a cage when you are tired. If you aren't sure you can handle a baby... get a dog instead. Consider a dog if you only want a part time child, as you don't always have to deal with them.

How do you think your children are going to react to always being dumped on others to deal with? It will just continue on... they will do the same things when they are older... taking any reason to dump their children off on you. Do people not realize what they are doing to their children in all of this? Those kids will pick up on the fact that the majority of the time they are nothing more than a burden on their parents. What a way to make them feel. Start them out right, that's for sure!

How does this help in bonding and building a relationship with your child? These precious first few years with your children are the foundation on which your entire relationship will be built upon. If you ruin the foundation... the house will fall.

I could rant and rave about this issue forever, but what it comes down to are the poor innocent children. They are the ones suffering for your laziness, for your selfishness. All these children need are some people to give them love and attention... if you aren't willing to do that, then don't have them in the first place.

So come on people... get over yourself. I am beyond tired too... there are days (like yesterday!) where I feel like I am going insane, where the kids are being difficult, and trying my last bit of patience. Work through it! Do it now and you will thank yourself later!

Kids and Food...

What do you do when your child doesn't want to eat what you made for dinner? Usually, I don't make things the kids don't enjoy. Then again, my kids eat really well compared to other kids I've come across. When David and I want to eat something we know the kids won't, we are more inclined to make a seperate meal for them to enjoy. By this I mean the meal would be too spicy, or something more adult oriented. Kids just don't really care for a bowl of chili.

Last night we had meatloaf. We haven't fixed meatloaf in forever, and I think the way David makes it is just like our hamburgers. Caitlyn, for some reason started in on her drama queen routine the second she found out it was meatloaf. At 8 years old, she is very persuaded by family, tv, and friends... mostly friends. This is a difficult age, a time where she is discovering herself... but all I see is her trying to be like her friend. Whenever this certain friend comes over the drama queen routine kicks into full gear. Is this where the meatloaf hatred came in??

We all sat down to dinner and Caitlyn started making faces, eating everything but her meatloaf, pretending she was going to throw up, all causing her brother to want to do the same. We quickly corrected him, and attempted to do the same with her. Wyatt finished his dinner in no time, as did Baylee... Caitlyn chose to not eat and spend the rest of the night in her room. We told her this did not mean she didn't have to finish it, her meatloaf would be waiting for her come breakfast.

She must have thought we weren't serious, as she spent from 7:30 to 9 this morning, making excuses, pretending she was eating it, crying, anything she could to get out of eating this meatloaf. By this time I was beyond frustrated with her and told her to go back to her room. I made sure she knew that at lunch it would still be there. What am I going to do? I can't just let her think she doesn't have to eat it. I can't let her think that if she puts up enough of a fight, and causes enough drama that she will get out of it. Life just doesn't work that way. She is clearly just acting spoiled in my opinion. She says "I'm hungry". So I tell her to eat the meatloaf. "Well I'm not hungry for that." Well sorry sweetie, you're just not hungry then. I explain to her that there are many children out there who have little to nothing to eat and would gladly eat her meatloaf if given the chance. Still, she just wants "something else".

What do you do when your children won't eat what's been put in front of them? Her drama queen antics have got to stop, she never acted this way before, it sure as hell isn't gonna start at 8 years old! Sound off in the comments... let me know what helps your kids eat something they don't particularly enjoy! I probably won't make her eat it again after she finishes this ONE slice, but seriously... it can't be THAT bad.

You have THAT many??

Yep... thats right... I have FOUR children. Sorry I broke the mold. So sorry I didn't stop at two. Children are a gift from God... So I guess I did something right to be blessed with four, rather than the average of two! Lucky woman I am!

So when you see me in the grocery store, my hands full, two carts in tow, the two babies in one cart, two older ones following me, don't you dare shake your head. Do NOT pity me. Do NOT assume I am on government assistance and cannot take care of my children on my own. Don't think to yourself that I am too young to have four children, because I am not.

Yes, my hands are full. My life is full... and that is how I like it!! If you were to step foot in my door right now you would find four very happy, very healthy, very clean, very well-mannered children to greet you. Toys on the ground... of course! Dishes in the sink... maybe a few. I bet my house isn't the only house like this, even those with the "norm" 2 children have these same things in their homes. The only difference is my table may be a bit more full than yours... my piles of laundry a bit larger... more dishes to get done at each meal... more baths to give every night. I may not get time to myself, but I work around that.

That stuff doesn't matter though, because I also get more in return. I get four times the hugs, and four times the kisses. I am lucky enough to experience four times their first words, four times their first steps, four times their first night in a big kid bed, four times their first day of school.

My life wouldn't be complete if I didn't have each and every single one of my four children. So the next time you are out and see a family with more than two children, don't feel sorry for them. Know that they are happy.

Advice... Venting...

So this is my vent about people and their vents. No, it's not that I get irritated with people letting their feelings out, and venting the things that are bothering them, that is completely understandable. What irks me is when people are wanting advice on a situation, they are venting their anger and frustrations, and hoping people on the outside can give them some sort of help... yet when they do get advice it is completely ignored. Why bother asking for advice in the first place?

Seriously, if you just want to shout and be angry, without anyone offering their advice... SAY SO! Otherwise you are wasting everyones time, as well as their feelings. I am a very emotional based person, always taking on the feelings of others. When a friend is sad, or going through a rough situation, I am sad right along with them. Also, I am there to offer support, give my take on their situation and speak from an outsiders perspective.

People seem to want to talk about their problems, but never seem to want to be proactive in solving their problems. Do they just thrive off the stress and drama? I know personally, I am a much happier person when my life is drama free and smooth. It's never fun to be in a tough spot emotionally, financially, or physically. Others don't like seeing it either and want to help. When advice is just thrown out the window and the next week the same situation is brought up in a new scenario, I get angry. In my mind why should I take the time to care about this person, offer support and guidance, for it just to be brushed off again? It's not worth it. They aren't willing to listen. To listen would mean to take action and DO something to prevent the situation from happening repeatedly... but doing something means CHANGE. People are afraid of change.

Let me ask you this... if you had a boyfriend, husband, someone who was causing you mental stress or harm in any kind of capacity... would you let them continue treating you in the same manner time and time again? Or... would you do something to remove yourself from said situation? If you had a longtime friend who only wanted to be friends when it was convenient for them... constantly causing you heartache knowing you must not matter enough to keep in touch with... would you continue being their friend?

I don't like being a doormat, so that said, I would remove myself from both situations. Nowhere am I saying you need to just shut the door and not even try to mend these relationships... but, if they even need to be mended, something is obviously broken.

Can you last in a relationship without trust? I know I wouldn't be able to! Constantly questioning your partner's every move... wondering what they are really up to as they tell you a lie to cover it up. Here's the thing about lies... the truth will ALWAYS come out!! When it does, it hurts much more than if you were to just be upfront and honest, whether it caused an issue or not. Because, now the person you lied to has to deal with the initial issue along with the fact that you LIED to them. What's the point in lying in the first place unless you have something to hide?

I can go on forever with this subject, so I will leave it at that. My point in all of this is if you are seeking advice from people, take it. If you have no intention of doing anything about your situation but just want to gripe and have a pity party, say it in the beginning so I don't go wasting my time trying to help you out.

Why I do what I do...

Life didn't always used to be this way... I actually was a working mother. When Caitlyn was 6 weeks old I returned to work, but back then it was all up to me to bring home to bacon. I was also working when I met and married David as well... up until we moved to Camp Pendleton actually. The commute was just too much for me and I quit the job that I had in Orange County (over an hour drive each way!!!). We tried making it on his paychecks and it was impossible, so through a temp agency I returned to work. Caitlyn stayed with my next door neighbor for a really reasonable price and had kids to play with.

The transfer and move to Parris Island, South Carolina is what sparked a change. It was a whole new world out on the east coast, compared to growing up in Southern California. I tried to get work but the pay was horrible and it wasn't worth it. So that started the whole stay at home thing. It was nice being able to take Caitlyn out to the park, over to friend's houses and be carefree all day long. Then Wyatt came along and added to the fun.

In 2005 when we moved to Elk Grove, California (just outside Sacramento) things were rough. I absolutely had to find work. David was the maintenance tech at our apartments, but they still wouldn't give him a break on the rent we owed each month. It was ridiculous, but at the time it was the only place we had. So I went to work. Each and every day I cried as I drove myself 45 minutes to work, went about my day as best I could, and hurried home each evening. I would almost run from the building to my car, and drive as fast as I could to the babysitters house to pick up my kids.

Little by little we noticed the babysitter was a bit "off", she was becoming very possessive over Wyatt and rather grouchy and snappy at Caitlyn. At this point Wyatt was 18 months old, Caitlyn just a few months shy of 6 years. She was open about everything they did during the time at the sitters house, and a few things we just didn't enjoy hearing about. No, nothing BAD, just things that make you a bit uncomfortable. One day as David dropped the kids off, she noticed we gave Wyatt his first haircut and had the nerve to YELL at my husband for it. Hello... seriously?!? She just was getting too attached and treating him like he was hers. That, along with being mean to Caitlyn, and the fact that I became really ill... I quit my job to once again raise my children myself.

I just don't trust anyone else. I am NOT bashing anyone who works and has their children in daycare... because there are MANY, many great babysitters and daycare providers out there!! I used to be a working mother, and for awhile it was great for us. But now... for me, I am just too paranoid. The illness happened to be the fact that I was pregnant with Baylee! So we sat down and calculated things... no matter if I went to work or not we just wouldn't be able to afford daycare for 3 children. So it was decided I would stay home and care for them myself.

Do we struggle? Of course! But going to work wouldn't make our situation any better. I would be sick all the time again, and go crazy missing my children. And here's the kicker... I would be working just to afford the cost of daycare on now 4 children! The things that the old babysitter put us through has me freaked out to even leave my children in someone else's care that is not a close friend or family member. Unfortunately I have little trust in others when it comes to my children... my husband is the same way.

So crazy days or lazy days... I am in it 100% as long as I get to be with my children each and everyday I am a happy woman. They are what makes life worth living.

Exhaustion Sets In...

My youngest child, Peyton is currently 2 months old. She is the last of four babies. I want to cherish every moment with her, yet I want my sleep as well. Aside from Peyton there are three other children needing me. So when I don't get sleep I don't make for the happiest person on earth. Usually Peyton will sleep really well at night, a few times even sleeping all night. Last night was horrible.

Every single time she fell asleep and I put her in the bassinet she would wake minutes later screaming her head off. I could tell she was in pain, but nothing I did worked for her. We were up till she finally nodded off at 2:30 this morning!! I was lucky enough to wake at 5:45 when my husband's alarm clock went off. Wow... a whole 3 hours of sleep in me and I was up again!! I managed to feed her a bit and get her back to sleep until around 7. Another hour of sleep in me, yet this time I absolutely had to get up as the other children were awake as well.

I felt like a zombie as I picked myself up from the bed, trying not to look at the cozy spot I was nestled into. The kids needed me, plain and simple, and Peyton had woken up yet again. We trekked downstairs to start our day. Auto-pilot on, I went straight to the coffee pot. Cereal bowls passed out, bananas cut, another bottle made... drip... drip... come on coffee!!! Peyton wasn't about to let me put her down, and in the mood I was in, I wasn't ready to listen to her scream either. Our morning routine went on, one handed.

Today I am suffering from severe exhaustion... I feel like if I were given the chance I could sleep a week straight. At this point I actually wonder what it's like to get a full night of sleep, and not have to be up at the crack of dawn with a child in my face. There's nothing like waking from a peaceful dream to the sound of your four year old yelling "I'm aaaawaaaakeeee!!!!" Because, of course everyone needs to be awake if Wyatt is awake. How dare you want to sleep when you are in the presence of the great Wyatt Ashton! Shame on you!

David was asked to help a friend out tonight, so instead of trying to nap when the children do, I get to clean! Yay for me! So in a few hours they are coming over and bringing their two adorable children to hang out. At least I get some adult interaction while the kids play. Their Sophie is almost 7, and Sullivan is I think 8 or 9 months... forgive me for not remembering as it's difficult to remember everything about my own children at this point! Haha... totally kidding. This said as my rambunctious Baylee Rose runs in squealing at the top of her lungs, wanting attention.

A nap is not in the picture today... so I will fill up my cup yet again and get on with my day!

Lost...

My life revolves around my four children and my husband. Everything I do is for and about them. This year makes 9 years since I have been a Mom... my Caitlyn is turning 9 in November!!! Yet somewhere along the journey I have seemed to have lost myself. Who am I anymore without my children and husband around? I honestly have NO clue anymore. So, currently I am on a journey to try to find the me that is within.

I know what I enjoy... but there is really never a chance to break away to have time for myself. The odd thing about that is I don't like to be alone... ever! I don't have many people I enjoy being around here in this town, so going out with friends isn't an option either. So what do I do with that? For now I blog!

I blog to vent, to escape, to save my sanity! My connection to me, the me that can't always be SuperMom... the me that occasionally needs a break. Don't get me wrong, I adore my life, my children, my husband. I hate being without them, yet sometimes I just need a few moments to take a breath and watch the clouds roll by.

Back in the day I used to be so outgoing, so full of life, witty, strong, ready for anything, fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. Those characteristics are still within me... they just need to be let loose once again. I feel like I am different than most other people my age. Unlike many other 20-somethings, I got married when I was only 20 years old, and have had 4 children. My life isn't about parties, clubs and staying out drinking all night... it has turned into 3am feedings, diaper changes, kiddie movies, watching what I say, being exhausted by 10pm, and living on coffee.

A little lost right now... I am working my way towards finding myself once again. I feel that once we get a better grip on things and move away from the black hole that is Houston, things will start picking up once again. Mommy needs girlfriends to hang out with... not just over the phone, internet, and text either! Bear with me as my journey begins...

History

A little history...

Most of my 27 years was spent living in Anaheim, California... what I often refer to as part of the "bubble" that is Orange County. I lived a very sheltered, naive life. My teenage years were spent at Knotts Berry Farm, Disneyland, the beach, and of course, the mall. I thought I knew everything in life as most teenagers do, yet had no plans for my future. All that changed when I gave birth to my first child, Caitlyn Noel, at the ripe age of 18 in November 1999.

Thankfully I had the support of my parents and still lived at home free of charge. My mom watched the baby while I worked and tried my best to take care of my baby. About once a month I would take a Saturday and hang with friends, go out dancing or whatever might be fun that night. June 2001, I brought Caitlyn to my good friend's birthday party. That was the day I met David. We hit it off right away, he actually asked me to marry him that night. I of course refused, and thought he was insane. We were inseparable from then on, marrying two short months later on August 19, 2001 in Lake Tahoe, California. He was in the Marine Corps, so we moved on base at Camp Pendleton.

In 2003 we were sent to Parris Island, South Carolina. Quite a change from living in California my entire life!! It took some time to adjust, we met some cool friends, and met some crazies as well. Our son Wyatt Ashton was born July of 2004. Military life just was not working in our best interest, so David got out when his contract ended in August 2005. We then took our little family back to Southern California.

The saying rings true... you can never really go home again. After spending close to 3 years across the country, things just were not the same. We didn't really fit in anywhere in Southern California, so we packed up and drove to Sacramento, where David was raised. Again, we ran into the same problems. Our third child Baylee Rose was born October 2006 while once again living in Southern California.

Persuaded, we moved to a smallish town outside of Houston, Texas, called Katy. From the moment we pulled in the driveway of the house we are renting from David's dad, I decided I would hate this place. I tried to enjoy it here, tried to make friends here, but it just hasn't worked out for me. This caused some major arguments between David and myself. We had our worst year as a couple in 2007 because of my hatred towards Texas.

Finally giving in and realizing that David has all along just been doing what he feels is best for our family, we were able to get our relationship back on track. Our fourth child was a result of that. Peyton Rylie was born June 2008. Yesterday she turned 2 months old.

So that is my life in a nutshell... busy... chaotic... and 100% full of love. I get little sleep, and run off of an addiction to caffeine. My days consist of 2 children in diapers, an overactive 4 year old and a curious 8 year old. I stay home with my children while my husband works to keep us barely treading water. Most days are so humid I don't want to step foot outside the door. I have many friends that are scattered all over the US, but very few actually in Katy. Belonging to a tight-knit group of women who all had babies in June 2008 on the social website CafeMom helps keep my sanity in check.

Writing is my passion... I have been writing since I was young and have saved every single story ever written. My imagination is always in overdrive, so basically I would go crazy not having a way to express myself. So get ready to read the thoughts and confessions of a 27 year old stay at home wife/ mother of four!